BULLIES - WHAT UP? ...

It is quite likely that each of you reading this has had some kind of contact with someone who tried to bully their way through something. Earlier this year I did a newsletter on dealing with difficult people, and offer a 20 page primer on the subject on my website. This newsletter is specifically about getting through a business meeting, board, or homeowner meeting (including election) when there is a "bully" or abuser present. It may be someone in the audience, on the board or yes, it might even be the manager.

Have you heard this one? "I HAVE FREE SPEECH RIGHTS" (implying that gives the speaker carte blanche). Well, it doesn't.

There has been a lot in the news lately about the difficulties of "town hall" meetings in the context of informing constituents about pending legislative issues. A "town hall" meeting can be a great forum to discuss issues and collect gems that help to discover problems, and solutions. Or the meeting can be a melee, out of control, where people get hurt and nothing gets accomplished. (Maybe you have seen "Parks and Recreation" ion TV with Amy Poeler, very funny and sad at the same time - although she tries hard and keeps a stiff upper lip, it's challenging to put yourself out there in front of a crowd that is less than satisfied with local government.)

Concurrently with all this news about "town hall" meetings out of control, there have been web discussions about how outrageous conduct of owners or board members at HOA or Condo Association meetings should be handled.

Methods for Handling Bullies and Tactics For Getting Through Business

EJECTION METHOD: One method is ejection from a meeting. Sounds simple? ... not ... and of course, that can lead to other problems such as assault or battery charges or a fight. Robert's Rules allows it, but who is going to do it? I have in the past, before a difficult meeting, suggested that the Board arrange for two big burley association members to stand at the door of the meeting room, not to start anything, but to suggest as a visual that the board has prepared the room and situation for any event.

If expecting bullies or people hot to stir up controversy, I also always advise that the Board or Manager make sure the room for a possibly difficult meeting is arranged suitably, providing a large enough room so that everyone that can conceivably come can get inside and sit down. One thing that can get attendees riled is to have standing room only, or to have some people stuck outside the room because the board did not plan well. The room should allow a comfortable warmth or cool temperature depending on the season, and there should be a clear agenda and very structured meeting, and if possible, some kind of refreshments (not booze). The more comfortable the attendees are in a room, the more a bully attendee or a group of them will stand out and the less people will be likely to get on the "bandwagon". Uncomfortable people hold that against the Board. If the Board is in fear of any attendee, including a board member getting out of control, the best advice is to have a cell phone out and on the table "cocked" and ready - and be ready to use it to call the police if any bully gets out of hand. (A bully is often someone who does not listen to reason.)  

ADDRESS ACTION AS VIOLATION: If a board member or owner gets out of hand, and the meeting cannot continue in any meaningful way, the conduct may be considered a nuisance or harassment and the board members (those not guilty) may consider adjourning the meeting and thereafter, addressing the business (if board business) in an emergency meeting behind locked doors, and addressing the conduct of the owner in later disciplinary proceedings, following California law for notice of and planning of hearings. And if the conduct is eggregious, consider not only fines, but also a ban from future meetings for a time (assuming the governing documents allow for suspension of membership rights). What the documents say about disciplinary matters is an important factor here, as is good  legal advice. 

FINES AND SUSPENSION METHODS: In one thread on the web, a person responded with their view about resolutions imposing fines for harassment or nuisance behavior by saying: "BULLSHIT -- SO-CALLED 'anti-harassment' resolutions violate both the statutory and constitutional rights of the homeowner. EVEN if the homeowner uses yelling and profanity, it is protected speech."

That is a bad attitude, and clearly not true. Those who wish to engage in public displays of bad temper and childish behavior, swearing and the like, often claim that they have a "Free Speech Right" suggesting it allows them to behave badly. Not so. Yes, Americans have a right to free speech, however, even the Constitution allows some controls over time, place and manner. There are many cases on the subject of reasonable restrictions to "free speech".

GET SMARTER: The best way to put a bully in his or her place (assuming they use words and not muscle) is to be smarter. Know the laws for meetings, association business, procedures and protocol, including those for board and homeowner meetings and elections, and Roberts Rules, and know when to say, "I believe we have to table that and do more research to find out the proper answer to your [accusation ... demand ... question ... concern ... etc.]." Or: "We need to take that up at a [later, different, executive session, etc.] meeting.

BE PREPARED: As a former Brownie, and later, Girl Scout, I won a badge for understanding the concept of "being prepared" as a young person. You can earn a "badge" too, in the form of the satisfaction that comes with a meeting well done. If the board circulates (per law) and then adopts a meeting policy that addresses the order of things, the steps that will be taken if any attendee gets out of hand, and the disciplinary action that may be considered if that occurs, attendees that are not abusive will appreciate the structure. Those that are will, once again, stand out in the crowd, and not in a good way. 

  The Primers on this website that address Operations and Operations Forms will be helpful with this. And as in most things, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. So call first, when facing a difficult situation, and find out how to prevent the situation from escalating.